The Not-So-Divine Secrets of -Motherhood-

Things that make you go GRRR

You know we are moving. You know we have stuff in POD's. I would like to know, how much is it going to cost to relocate those POD's to another state? And below is an actual phone conversation, recorded for your enjoyment:

"Thank you for calling POD's. Due to the popularity of our services we are experiencing high call volumes. Please continue to hold as your call is important to us."

Muzak...

POD's ads....

"Thank you for calling POD's. Due to the popularity of our services we are experiencing high call volumes. Please continue to hold as your call is important to us."

Muzak...

POD's ads...

"Thank you for calling POD's. Because we are so popular we cannot answer your call. You will wait because we have all your crap stored in our warehouse. You have no other choice. Hold. And like it."

Muzak...

POD's ads....

"Thanks for calling us. I see you are still waiting. Hanging in there like a dingleberry. Just keep holding. We'll get to you after all the other callers in front of you hang up."

Muzak...

POD's ads...

"Are you still on the line? You are nuts. It's been twenty minutes. You must really want to talk to us. Are you sure this isn't something you can do online without our help? Just continue to hold, we'll get to you someday."

Muzak...

POD's ads...

"Thank you for calling POD's. My name is (I have no idea what her name is, I was delirious to hear a human voice). How may I assist you?"

"Hi, my name is Jenn. We currently have two POD's stored in your facility and need to have them moved to another state. Can you please tell me how much that will cost?"

"Ohhhh. Have you spoken with our Platinum Team yet?"

Platinum Team? Hell no. If you had given me the bat line I would have called them first.

"Umm, no, I'm sorry, I haven't spoken with anyone about this yet. Can I speak with them then?"

"Well, let me see if they are still there. I will try to get them on the line. Please hold"

Relatively short amount of time passes and operator returns...

"Oh, I'm sorry, they just closed. You missed them by two minutes. They close at midnight EST. If only you had called in just a few minutes ago. But they open at 7 EST which is 4am your time so you could call in first thing when you wake up."

Beeotch, do you even have any idea that I have been on hold for twenty one minutes and forty six seconds?  Gee, that's bad luck. I guess I will have to call back in the morning.

And with that, I'm going to bed. Glad I had a glass of wine while I was on hold or I'm certain I would not have been able to restrain myself at the end there.

 

Dear Samantha,

November 30th, 2009

My Dearest, Sweetest Baby Girl,

Where has time gone? Seriously, I don't even know the last time I sat down and wrote you a love note, and that makes me very sad. See, time goes much faster than we expect, and when that happens it is good and bad. You grow up before our very eyes, and as parents we wish for you to hit all those milestones, but then we sit down one day and realize three months have gone by in the blink of an eye. Soon you will be going off to kindergarten, going to your first dance, driving a car, and then moving off to college. I can't think about those things right now or I will have a nervous breakdown.

I don't think this is anything I have mentioned before but for some reason I am prepared to share it with you now- the first six and a half months of your life were among the hardest I have faced as a mother. I don't know how to describe it- other than to tell you that I honestly believe I might have had Post Partum Depression.

I hope that someday you will know me, and know my strength. I have been blessed with my grandmother and mother before me to show me how hold my head high and deal with whatever life sends my way. I hope to someday pass this along to you. But there are some things that might not be within your control.

I didn't truly understand why you were such a difficult baby- and now, looking back, I realize you were not the difficult baby at all. I think I was living under a cloud and did not realize it. It has taken me many months to be able to recognize and just as many months to verbalize it, but tonight as I put you to bed I realized that the last eight months with you have been the very best months I have ever had.

Tonight, I was putting you to bed, and I realized how much joy you have brought into my life. I realize that on a daily basis-but for some reason tonight felt extra special. Do you know that you are my danger child? You have absolutely no fear. You have the sweetest giggle. You almost never cry- and I mean never. You smile all the time. You have the best temperament- you are your Daddy through and through when it comes to that. You are my snuggler- and I absolutely cannot get enough of that. You will come and lay your head on my shoulder every now and then and no matter what I am doing I will make time to snuggle with you.

You are talking like crazy now. You say "up, down, hi kitty, thank you, mommy, daddy, and eye" to name a few. I suspect one day you will surprise us and will just start speaking in complete sentences. Actually, that would not really surprise me.

You just make Mommy's life so much fun I can't believe I was blessed this way. I can say with certainty, and this is not fair, but there will be things Hayley will get to do that you won't because she is older. But let me assure you, there will most definitely be things you will get away with that Hayley would not have, because you are my baby. Forever my baby.

I love you sweet girl, Love, Mommy.

Childrenisms

Childrenisms. You know what they are. Those words that kids invent when they can't say the right word, or can't pronounce it. I love them- and I always tell myself I am going to write down all of Hayley's Childrenisms so that one day we can look back and giggle together. I am sure that most of them have already been forgotten, but this morning she told me a new one and that reminded me that I needed to post about this. So here are a few of my absolute favorites, and if I remember any I will add them later.

Grungebob Prayer Pants. (Spongebob Square Pants)

Baby Soup. (Bathing Suit)

More Downer. (As in, I want my window put "more downer")

 

Are we absolutely nuts?

I know I haven't posted much about our move to Phoenix- and for various reasons. First of all I have been working like a dog- getting up and signing in to the computer at 5am to start working, staying late, and working after I get home. Second, my husband finally discovered Facebook after a year of prodding him to join. Since he is still in the infatuation stage it means he is online all the time. And, thanks to dial-up, only one of us can use the computer at a time.

So anyway- to fill in some blanks, we went to Phoenix two or three weeks ago and started scoping out the housing situation. First we were dead set on buying something. Then dead set on renting something until we could figure out which areas we really wanted to focus on. Then back to buying- because we can't stand the thought of throwing money away on rent. And because we couldn't stand the thought of moving yet again, considering all the moving we have done these last few months. And again, back to renting, because my sister is going to move to Phoenix with us and initially she, her partner, their fourteen month old, and their three dogs are going to live with us until they have adequate time to figure out their own housing situation.

The problem is, if you were a landlord, would you want to rent to four adults, three small children, three dogs, and two cats? Yeah? Me either. Matter of fact, when we were renting out our home we did have someone in a similar situation. A set of parents, their two grown children, the grown children's significant others, and four dogs. We said no. Numerous times. Their realtor kept calling us, and he sounded pretty desperate to get his people into a rental. I pictured the same despair in our realtor's voice as she called property managers trying to find us a short term rental. Oh yeah, and throw in there that we only wanted a six month lease because we didn't want to be locked into renting forever.

So yeah, just based upon this information I am certain you are nodding in agreement. We are nuts. Even more nuts? We went ahead and made an offer to buy a home instead. In an area we haven't even checked out yet. On a home we haven't even seen in person. We found out this morning the offer was accepted. Great news, right? Well, it will be, if we get loan approval! Yeah, add to that equation that we have only begun the loan process and have not yet confirmed we have financing. But I guess that isn't all that different from the home we went into contract on back in May- we didn't have loan approval then either and that all came together. I have faith.

Umm, yeah, I'm nuts. And crazy enough, I am already totally in love with this house. I have a copy of the floorplans which I was able to obtain online and yes, I have even drawn in my furniture with colored pencils. The best part? It has a basement.... Funny that we started this process to buy a home with a basement back in May. And yes, sounds like we will still get our home with a basement, even if it IS in another state.

If you don't hear from me for awhile you will hopefully know why. My husband is Facebooking. I am working. And packing. And stressing about trying to close escrow in 30 days so we can relocate. Oh yeah, and closing down my branch. In the middle of the holiday season. I don't really have much going on- I don't know why I am throwing out excuses?

Ahhh,'tis the season...

 

My apologies to all the dads out there

A few weeks ago when I picked Hayley up from pre-school we could not find her sweater. It was one of my favorites and I was bummed. I checked the classroom I drop her off in every morning, I checked the classroom I pick her up in, and I checked her own classroom. I checked the lost and found.

In one of the classrooms I searched there was a sweater that was remarkably similar to the one I was looking for and therefore I believed that someone else had taken home Hayley's sweater and accidentally left theirs.

I told my husband that we lost her sweater. Even though I described it in minute detail to him he still had no idea which one I was talking about. So I told him that I figured that was exactly what happened. Some dad picked up their kid at school, grabbed a sweater, and away they went. I told my husband that I expected once the sweater got home the mom would know that it wasn't theirs just by one glance and that I was hoping Hayley's sweater would come back to school the next day. A week went by without the sweater being returned and then I gave up hope. But I still blamed the dad for not knowing what his kid's clothing looked like.

Another week went by and I happened to pop my head into another classroom to talk to one of the other teachers. I'm sure you know where this story is going. I found Hayley's sweater. The other teacher sometimes brings the kids to her classroom in the morning and apparently that was why Hayley's sweater was there. The teacher noticed it had been there for a few weeks but didn't know where it came from so she left it hanging on the coat hook.

Of course, as soon as I called my husband with the joyous news that my favorite sweater had been located, he immediately pointed out that I owed all those dads an apology for wrongly accusing them of taking it. So here goes.

Dear Pre-school Dads,

Please accept my heartfelt apology for wrongly accusing you of not knowing your own child's clothing from someone else's. The fact that there might be two sweaters that look exactly alike (alas, different brands) is definitely something that is not your fault. The fact that some obsessive mothers such as myself do know every detail of their children's clothing down to which seam is coming loose is also not your fault. You are forgiven.

Signed, The Obsessive, Overbearing, Judgemental Pre-School Mommy

Status? Anyone interested?

My days are consumed with all the necessary evils of shutting down a branch operation of a major company. My nights are consumed with poring over real estate listings and rentals trying to locate a home to live in. My lunch hours are consumed with trying to locate child care in the greater Phoenix area.

Needless to say, I just barely realized it has been two weeks since I last posted anything. If I am fortunate enough to have any readers left I better get online and give you all some updates a little more often huh?

Ok, so I have been to Phoenix four times in the last four weeks, including two trips in one week. Each time I have gone I have been so excited that I haven't wanted to come home, I just want to stay there. Maybe that's more because I don't really want to come home and have to pack up our stuff. Again. For those that might not know, we just moved into this short term rental three months ago. It took us two months to pack up all our stuff to even move here, I don't even want to think about the chaos that is definitely going to ensue when we have to pack up our crap here and move yet again.

We are looking at housing in Phoenix, and childcare, and the commute... Ohmygosh what is with the traffic there? So there are like four million people, and they all work... In the same five square miles of the city?

But we are excited. Do you know that citrus trees grow like wild there? I mean, every house has citrus trees. They have so much citrus it just falls on the ground and rots. Just out of the sake of curiosity, why would you plant five orange trees, two grapefruit trees, and one lemon tree? Because the house we are considering buying has that much citrus planted in the backyard. Would that technically qualify as a "Grove"? Is that where the fruit that the guys sell on the side of the road comes from? Will I need to hire migrant workers to come and harvest my crops?

I am certain I have already said this- but they have a state lottery. (Yeah, I know, most states except Nevada have one). It's the small things in life that make me happy. They have "Los Taquitos" in Ahwautukee. (As in, "Diners, Drive-In's and Dives) And yes, those little chicken tacos really are as "Off da hook" as Guy Fietti claims they are. We drove all the way there from North Scottsdale on one of our trips just to check it out. Mmmm. They have citrus. Growing like wild. They have professional sports. (which I really could care less about but my husband is kind of excited about) They are only about 13 hours from Dallas- which is good because maybe I will actually drive out to see my sisters more often. They have "pokeys" in abundance. (My husband's word for cactus)

You know, I am really excited about this move. Actually, I just want to move and be done with it so we can try and finally settle our lives. We have had so much uncertainty for the last few months that it would be nice to just know that we made it. Actually, it would really be nice to hit the lottery. And yes, I did buy tickets every time we have visited.

Daddy's Helper-Helper

The fridge in our rental was leaking so my husband set out to fix it. Along the way he acquired a helper-helper. And in case you can't see that well, she isn't standing nearby, she is actually sitting on him as he works. No wonder we don't get anything done around here!

Look at These Faces

You know- I really have been so consumed that my blogging has really suffered. First it was consumed with buying a short sale. Then moving into a short term rental. Then trying to find a bank owned home instead of a short sale. And finally, closing my branch and relocating. Actually, this last piece isn't done yet and will likely consume me for the next two months.

But in the mean time I figured maybe I better show you how stinkin' cute these little faces are- and I guess maybe then you will know why I am going through the absolute hell I am going through right now.

THE News

Well, it is official. I can finally share our news- the reason I have been so distracted for the last few weeks. And before you wonder too much- I am not pregnant.

We are relocating.

It's very overwhelming actually. See, we thought that everything fell into place just perfect with us writing the contract on that BofA short sale, found tenants for our home, and found a short term rental so that we could be free to close on the short sale any time. I have said before and will say it again- I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Apparently the reason behind all of this was not that we would ever get that big house with a basement- but more that we would be free to be able to relocate in order to preserve our jobs.

It all went a little something like this:

In January of this year we went to a big corporate meeting. They told us that they didn't want to centralize our processing centers but that we all needed to work really hard to keep our numbers in line with corporate expectations. Work hard we did! Then about four months ago we heard that they were again considering centralizing the operations but that specifically our district might get a break if we were able to keep our numbers in line and reduce our errors. Work harder we did! Then about a month ago we got word that they were still considering this centralization. I put together reports and this nice little summary about why my branch should be protected. Unfortunately, the decisions had already been made and my branch was idenitifed as one that will be consolidating with a larger branch.

So the last few weeks have been, well, rough to say the least. First of all because even though I had this knowledge I was not permitted to share it with my employees. You try walking around facing your people every day knowing that by December 31st we are all going to be out of a job. Second we have all our eggs in this basket. Both my husband and I work for the same company. The real dilemma was that although the operations department was consolidating- his department was not so he will still have a job here. And lastly- we always said we never wanted to raise our children in this city- but the question of the day is, what city then DO we want to raise them in?

We narrowed it down to Phoenix and Dallas. Both are attractive to us for various reasons, and also both are a little daunting. There is just so much going on in both- and what the heck is with the commute and traffic? We just got back from Phoenix last night and the vote is in- we are moving to Phoenix.

I'm excited. Scared. A little sad to leave Las Vegas as I have been here for twenty years. Tired just thinking about packing up all of our stuff for an interstate move. Distressed at the thought that this is all happening during the holidays. Bummed because it means we are not going to be settled permanently- at least not for another six or eight months- because we are not going to jump in and buy a house immediately until we really get to know the greater Phoenix area.

We can't wait though to get to Phoenix- for all the things it has that Vegas doesn't. Professional sports events. IKEA. Chick Fil A. Lottery tickets. Fruit trees like crazy- can you believe that citrus grows like wild there?

I have been bursting to blog about all of this- it really is too much to keep a secret. Unfortunately I couldn't- because I have no idea which of my friends and family read my blog and also because from a corporate perspective we had not been given permission to tell our employees.

So from a timeline perspective- my branch will be ceasing operations on December 31st. I am in negotiations to relocate to the Phoenix office and it sounds like they want me to start working there by December 1st and commute back to my branch at least two days a week until the end of the year. Looks like we might be moving within the next 30 days- but definitely within the next 45 as I really want to move before Christmas. I will hate living out of boxes but I would hate having my kids open their Christmas gifts only to tell them to pack them in the moving truck as we are pulling out.

I will try to keep you all updated- at least as best as possible. Was this the news you were expecting?

If you think I've dropped off the face of the Earth...

If you were beginning to think I have dropped off the face of the Earth you might be right. Aside from using dial up internet and all this house craziness I just have not had the time or energy to blog. There are lots of other things going on around here right now- none of which I am at liberty to blog about yet but I am hoping to have the freedom to do so sometime this week.

Incidentally, we are taking the kids to Scottsdale next weekend for fun so we can bring our computer and use all the high speed internet our 48 hours will buy us.

I'm sorry- I really, REALLY want to blog about what has kept me from blogging but I can't. They might kill me. As soon as I know the coast is clear you bet I will be here first. Check in toward the end of the week if you can.

 

Dial-Up Still Exists?

Where, oh where do I start?

We moved into our short term rental back in August. We were disappointed to hear that our high-speed internet carrier did not provide service to this address but figured we could get by- you know, using Blackberries and borrowing a moment of internet here or there from someone broadcasting.

I know, I know, it was wrong to borrow someone's internet without their permission. We assumed it was acceptable to borrow, otherwise they would have put a security password on it, right?

So when I say that we could only borrow it for a moment here or there what I meant was that the connection would usually fail about ten minutes after you got online.

My husband decided that we would no longer rely on someone else to provide our internet. We would get dial-up.

Can you believe that you can get dial-up for only five bucks a month? Me either! I want to know why they are even charging five bucks for this! Why isn't it just free? It is going to take me all night just to blog this one flippin' post!

If you are in internet addict and are looking for a way to break your addiction, just buy dial- up. It will no doubt cure your addiction. You will get so frustrated you will just shut it off and watch re-runs of Deadliest Catch.

Don't be surprised if you see even less of me now than you saw before.

 

Dear Similac,

Dear Similac,

Three years ago you sent my wife a sample package. It was nice, it included some formula, some coupons, and an insulated bottle storage travel bag.

This insulated bottle storage bag has by far been the best free gift we were given when we had a baby. You might think that we had outgrown the need for the insulated baby bottle bag, but I will assure you, I have put it to use every single Sunday.

You see, it also is the perfect size for three cans of beer and stows nicely in my golf bag.

The problem? The problem is that some hooligans took it upon themselves to steal it from our wagon while we were at the park with the kids today. (Never you mind asking why I had it in the wagon with a couple of beers at the park).

I would like to know if there is any way to obtain a free replacement bag? It never bothered me to flash "Similac" whenever I unzipped the lid. None of my friends seemed bothered by the fact that I was able to keep a few extra beers handy in my golf bag. I think I might have been the hero on the course a time or two due to the handy dandy insulated storage bag.

Please let me know how to go about requesting an additional insulated milk storage bag. I would offer to have another kid so I can get more free samples but that just isn't going to work for us.

Anxiously awaiting your reply,

Golfer-Run-Dry In The Desert

 

**Ghost written for my loving husband**

Reflections on the NICU

How appropriate that today, of all days, the hospital held their annual NICU Reunion.

One year ago, today, we got to bring Baby Sam home. You might remember, she was there ten days. You also might remember, I was a wreck. Beyond a wreck, I was barely functioning. It was ten days of pure Hell.

The day I brought her home, the 27th of September, was the greatest day of my life.

We aren't very good about opening our mail. If it appears to be any form of junk mail I typically rip it right in half before ever opening it. Either that, or it goes straight in the shredder. So when we received a piece of mail from the hospital (and it didn't resemble a bill) I left it on the counter and forgot about it. Fast forward a couple of weeks and as I sorted the mail I realized I never opened it.

Friday night when I opened the envelope it had a card inside. An invitation to an annual NICU Reunion. I already threw it out so I can't quote exactly, but it said something to the effect that by having had a premature baby we joined an elite group of parents that will share a lifelong bond. That hit me right between the eyes. I knew instantly that I wanted to take Sam back. I called even though it was well past the RSVP date and asked if we could still attend.

Lucky for us- we could. I had often wanted to drop a line to the NICU nurses to let them know that time had healed my hatred. It hasn't healed my heart though- and I still have tears after re-reading my blog about my pre-term labor and Sam's stay in the NICU. And also I must say, I really wanted to take Sam back so they could see what a beautiful, healthy child she is.

The first person we saw there was the doctor responsible for discharging her. I love that woman. She took photos of Sam (even if she doesn't remember her). We also saw the counselor that spent much time trying to talk me through my depression. I didn’t care much for her while I was going through the heartache but today when I looked at her I felt guilty for taking out so much of my anger on her. We saw one of the nurses that was often on duty while we were there and she took one look at Sam and said she actually looked the same as when she was there. Which is true- the only thing about Sam that has changed has her eyelashes have grown in.

We sat at a table with other NICU parents- some whose children stayed four times as long as Sam. Some who had multiple premature births and therefore went through the NICU experience more than once. Some whose children are not healthy. It was a real eye opener.

I have a beautiful baby girl. She really isn’t a baby anymore- as she is walking, and starting to talk, and growing up right before our very eyes. I was glad to have been invited to the NICU Reunion and I know that I will make the time to go back every year that I receive the invite.

It has also reminded me that I have unfinished business to attend to. The blanket that I began knitting months and months ago needs to be finished. I would like to write a letter to the staff of the NICU and thank them for the kind things they did while Sam was there but that I refused to see. And it reminded me again that I need to be thankful- ever so thankful- for my beautiful little girl that is healthy and strong.

Without a Doubt...

We absolutely made the right decision with moving Hayley to another pre-school. We took her to tour the new school Friday afternoon before we take her there on Monday and when we walked in the door the director greeted her by name right off the bat.

I love that.

You should have seen the look on Hayley's face when we toured her classroom. It was actually after "school" was over for the day so the children that are there for extended care were already moved to another area but Hayley looked around her classroom in wonder at all the art, colors, and toys they had there. I was excited for her just by watching how excited she was!

We walked through the entire school and showed Hayley the awesome playground this new school has. The old school had not one patch of grass for the older kids to play on- there was only a small grass area for the babies. The new school has several grassy areas, a sandbox to die for, and lots of playground equipment. There are also tricycles for the kids to ride on recess. When we left my heart was full. I knew that the circumstances that brought us to this school were just meant to be.

Which leads me to my next realization. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I was heartbroken over the situation with Ms. G but it spurred me into action and look- my child is actually going to be in a better place than before. It is tough sometimes to understand why things happen- but once they are done we all go through that "aha!" moment.

Oh yes, now I see the big picture!

Update to the Child Safety Issue

For those that are wondering the prognosis just was not good for Ms. G. It never was but they did placate me momentarily by telling me they would run it up the flagpole.

I was notified about the incident on Wednesday morning. By noon on Wednesday I sent an e-mail to the director asking her to please ask the district manager to reconsider. Wednesday afternoon around 3pm I called and asked for the director but was told she was not in the office and would return my call. Wednesday afternoon when I picked Hayley up around 4:30 I asked for the director and was told she was conducting a tour and unavailable. I was told she did receive my e-mail earlier in the day and also did speak with the district manager. I left a message with the two administrators that were present to please have her call me.

Thursday I left well enough alone. I did not hear from the director.

Friday I was fed up. I e-mailed her and told her that I knew she was busy preparing for Open House that night but that I wanted to speak with her. I asked what time I could come by. She did not reply.

Friday night at Open House she pretended nothing had occurred. I did not press the issue as it was neither the time nor the place. I figured I would give her until Monday to reply to me. While we were at the open house I had an opportunity to speak with Hayley's other teacher who confirmed what I already suspected- politics were in play and we were the unsuspecting victims. The reason she was even terminated was because there was another administrator in the building that took it upon them-self to run to the phone and call the director to report the violation instead of to run and check on the safety of the children. I had e-mailed the director on Friday asking if another employee was aware of the safety violation why did they not attend to the children and why were they not also terminated but of course there was no reply.

Monday I had no response whatsoever. Monday morning I called the customer care center and asked for them to elevate me directly to the district manager. I was told I would have a response from that person within two business days. Monday afternoon I toured another pre-school and committed to enroll Hayley the following Monday.

This morning (Tuesday) I called the customer care center and requested the steps to dis-enroll my child from their learning facility. I was informed I would need to write up my request and submit it with two weeks notice. I was halfway through my written request when I received a call from the director. It went a little something like this:

"Jenn? This is Miss Director. I'm sorry I haven't called sooner but I did not get everything cleared though HR until just last night. Unfortunately the termination stands."

"Well, Miss Director, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not surprised. Unfortunately I wish you had called me to tell me that you had no news on this or were still working on it last week when I sent you multiple e-mails and left you multiple messages. I regret to inform you that we are withdrawing Hayley from your school. I will be bringing her written withdrawal request by today."

Audible pause.

Miss Director "Well, I guess I don't understand. I feel like Hayley has really flourished here at our facility."

Umm, yeah. Under the teacher that you FIRED. My response was "Yes, well, there is no doubt that Hayley has been happy but I simply can't get caught up in your corporate bureaucracy. We have decided to enroll Hayley in a locally owned and operated school where if I need to speak with a decision maker I may do so in a timely manner. One week to get a reply that I knew was coming just doesn't work for me. Sadly if you had just called me last week to tell me you acknowledged my e-mails and messages this might have been different. That's too bad because we really liked you Miss Director, you have done quite a bit with the school in just the few short weeks that you have been there. It's nothing personal you see, it's just a business decision we are making."

"Well. I see. If you change your mind please let us know."

 

Right.

So for all those that maybe didn't comment, or may not agree with me on this issue- I want to state for the record- I am not withdrawing my child because I disagree with the teachers termination. I am withdrawing my child because the administrator does not know how to deal with conflict. Apparently I created too much conflict for her and she either didn't want to or didn't know how to deal with it so she swept me under the rug. Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

Also for the record I do know that I will not always have the option of withdrawing my child if I disagree with the teacher or the management style of the administration. However, in THIS case I do have the option. And in THIS case I absolutely feel it is warranted.

Why do I feel that? Because let's just say for example I disagreed with something the administration was doing. Let's say that I expressed my concern to the administrator. Do I think that she wouldn't do the same thing to me the next time around? Ignore me for a week until she was ready to talk to me? Run to the district manager for cover?

I am a manager myself. I manage in a corporation. Sometimes policies get handed down that I don't necessarily agree with but have to enforce anyway. If anything, I GET her position more than others. But also, as unpopular as it sometimes makes me I have to tell people the truth. I have to tell them things they don't want to hear, like, I don't have an answer for you today. I might not have one for you tomorrow either. I would hope that somewhere along the way this has earned me respect in my industry. People that work with me know I will tell them the truth. They know that I am working my hardest and that I really am on their side even if sometimes I have no control over the outcome of the situation. And because I happen to manage to this expectation I also have the expectation that I will also be treated this way. Unfortunately I don't have the confidence that this is an isolated incident and therefore I made the decision to remove myself from the drama.

Agree? Disagree? Your opinion will be respected either way, so you may leave a comment without fear of retribution.

Dear Samantha,

September 17th, 2009

My Dearest Samantha,

Today you are one year old. This time one year ago your Dada and I were admitted to the hospital just waiting for the OR to open up so Mommy could deliver you. We were nervous, excited to finally meet you even if it was early, and scared to death.

We never found out if you were a boy or girl but we both knew somehow you were going to be a girl. Your Dada picked out your name long before you were ever born. Samantha Jayne.

You might think that operating rooms are very serious business. I was surprised both times that I delivered to find that there was music playing in the background and much conversation about where the doctors had been on vacation and the latest conference they would be attending. I will forever remember that the moment you were born there was a Kid Rock song playing the background- every single time I hear it on the radio I just know it is Sam's song.

I was so happy to hear your healthy cry that I cried too. I didn't even get to find out if you were a boy or girl until they were just about to take you off to the NICU. I guess these days everyone finds out what they are having ahead of time and need no reaffirmation when the baby actually gets here. We just loved being surprised.

Sam, it was the hardest thing Mommy has ever done to leave you in the NICU. I hope you never, ever have to go through that. All I wanted to do was hold you and snuggle you but the rules were the rules and you were so tiny that we had to let you get your rest.

For coming six weeks early you were pretty healthy. Five pounds three ounces! You made Mommy so proud. You are our little blondie. Did you know that both Mommy and Dada had blonde hair when we were little babies?

This past year you have amazed us with your will and determination. For the first few months you were developmentally about six weeks behind- which was to be expected. The pediatrician warned us to expect that until at least your first birthday. But just as you decided to make your grand entrance on your own time you also have met all of your milestones on your own time. Right around five and a half months old (technically four months) you caught right up with the regular babies and haven't looked back!

You started walking about a week ago. You walk best when you aren't putting any thought into it. As soon as you realize you are walking though you quickly bend back down to your knees and crawl.

You have the cutest giggle I have ever heard. Your sister makes you laugh so hard- no one else can get you to laugh like Hayley can. And the two of you give each other hugs and kisses all the time. (when you aren't hitting each other). It makes Mommy's heart sing to see the love that you share.

We have been so very blessed to have you in our lives. You are so healthy, and so loved. I just know that you are going to grow into a beautiful young woman one day and as much as I want you to stay my little baby forever I also cannot wait to see the beautiful young woman that you will become.

Happy First Birthday baby girl!

Love, Mommy

There's a strange rash going around?

On Monday I received a phone call at work from Sam's babysitter. Sam had a little fever. We talked about giving her some Tylenol, laying her down for a nap, and calling me back if the situation worsened. Luckily, it did not. We thought nothing more of it.

Tuesday night when I picked Sam up from the babysitter she had this little rash of tiny red dots. Mostly it was on her head and neck. I didn't think much of it- the babysitter mentioned that they had been outdoors and it could easily have been heat rash.

Wednesday morning when she woke up she was covered in it so I took her to the pediatrician. He could not find anything in particular wrong with her, and recommended Benadryl as needed if she seemed bothered by it. Away we went.

Tonight my husband was putting Hayley to bed and he asked me about her rash.

Rash? What rash on Hayley?

He says, "the one on her face- it looks a bit like Sam's." Of course I go running in there.

Yep, looks like she has this little rash starting around her mouth and chin. My husband rubs his hand over it. Then he licks a finger and rubs the rash. He asks Hayley "What have you been eating?"

She says "gum".

Well. Good to know that the rash wasn't contagious. And where on earth did the child get gum? (After she had dinner and a bath no less?)

Child Safety at Day Care

Yesterday when I was picking Hayley up from pre-school there was a little boy in her class that had pooped his pants. He was crying and getting even more distraught because he was trying to leave the classroom and couldn't get out. He's three. He was embarassed I am sure.

The teacher asked me to stay with the children for a moment and she walked him over to the two year old room which is where they are required to change "soiled" pants. She was gone two, maybe three minutes. She apologized when she returned and I thought nothing of it.

This morning I got a phone call from the school administrator. She wanted me to know personally before I picked up Hayley from school that unfortunately the teacher having left the children unattended with me was a violation of company safety procedures and they fired the teacher.

I am completely overwhelmed by this. I understand wholeheartedly that rules are made specifically for the safety of our children. I also understand that if I was an unsavory parent, an abusive parent, or a pedophile that even that few minutes could have been dangerous for the children in the room. As the administrator pointed out, the school does not background check the parents.

But I am just not able to accept this termination without asking them to reconsider it. First of all, we absolutely love this teacher. LOVE HER.  I am saddened for the loss that the children will experience as well as I know my little Hayley has grown attached to Mrs. G and that this is going to be hard.

I was so upset by this phone call that I cried all day. I even left work immediately after receiving the call, drove to the pre-school and talked with the administrator in person. I asked her if she would ask the district manager if myself and the parents of the other four children left unattended were to write letters acknowledging that the teacher violated company policy and was being given final warning would they reinstate her instead of terminating her.

I wrote an e-mail. I called. I asked again when I picked Hayley up at the end of the day and I haven't heard anything back which leads me to believe this is all falling on deaf ears. I have even suggested to them that I will make myself available to every single parent (whether their children were involved or not) to explain the situation and my stance on why this teacher should be allowed a second chance. I also told them that if the parents of the other four children did not agree with allowing the teacher a second chance I would respect their choice and not pursue this.

But can I just ask? If you were one of the other children's parents how would you feel about this? If the incident was explained to you and you had an opportunity to talk to the parent that was there would you do it? Would you want to save a teacher's job over this or are you a "by the rules" kind of person?

I mean, I am just so torn. I completely understand that the rules are made to protect our children. My children. That heaven forbid- but if this had happened and I wasn't the parent I would want to know that disciplinary action was taken. But I also like to believe that I am a person of reason- and that the punishment should fit the crime. If the teacher left a roomful of children unattended so she could make a personal phone call... If the teacher asked the UPS guy to real quick stay with the kids while she ran to the bathroom... I mean, I also would like to think if a situation like this happened, and I wasn't the parent involved but I had the opportunity to talk with the parent involved I would like that chance to have the conversation and make my own judgement about how unsafe I felt the situation was.

Really, what would you do? It brings tears to my eyes even after ten hours to think that a loving teacher was terminated for trying to do the right thing for a child that was completely distraught. I think it was a reaction and not intentionally putting the other children at risk.

For the record, the school policy was that the teacher was to stand at the door of her room and call out to the administrator in the office at the front to come and attend the kids while she left the room. Or the teacher was to ask me to go tell the administrator on my way out.

I'm sad. Very, very sad for this teacher that we loved so much and are so powerless to help.

I am how old again?

I turned thirty four last week. Thirty four. I don't feel old and I'm not one of those anti-aging people. So far every year I have lived has been better than the last and I'm not about to wish for anything other than a longer and continuously healthy life.

But some days I wonder, I am how old again? I mean, I was just thinking it should be time for The Late Show to come on and I looked over at the clock. Is it really only 8:03? I am completely exhausted! I can't believe it is only eight pm!

When did my body start to betray me like this? I mean, I never was a night owl to begin with. My husband and his best friend used to tease me when I was pregnant that I would head off to bed at 6pm, which I did. But can you blame me? I was pregnant after all!

Now that we have kids I don't have the luxury of coming home and heading off to bed if I have had a bone-tiring day. I have to get dinner on the table, baths, and bedtime stories. After that I have to get the dishwasher unloaded from the night before, loaded again and started, the diaper bag packed for the next day, and some nights I need to do laundry or tidy up the house. Oh yeah- and I always have to have time to blog or read blogs. (A girl's gotta have her priorities!)

Consequently that means that some nights after I do my chores and sit down for a quick surf on the internet it turns into 10 or 11pm before I realize the night has disappeared and the sunrise is coming faster than I am prepared for.

Now I understand why even as we got older my parents always insisted that we hit the sack no later than 8:30. It wasn't completely about us needing ten hours of sleep at night as much as it was probably that they just needed the down time before they went to bed themselves.

So I must say, tonight I am going to skip catching up on blogs. I am going to forgo posting on my other blog. I am going to pass on Facebooking and I am going to head to bed. I might not go to sleep (depending on what is stored up on Tivo) but at least I will be in the right place in case my body does decide to win the sleep fight.

And maybe tomorrow when I wake up I will feel much younger than I do tonight.

Planning a birthday party for a one year old

One day I will learn not to compare my two children. Likely that day will come when they want to compare each other and I have to tell them that they can't because they are two different children. Until then I will not practice what I preach.

It seems so odd to me that with first children things are just so, well, first. We were in a hurry for Hayley to do everything- roll over, walk, talk, everything. And with Sam- not so much. I want her to stay "baby" just as long as possible, especially since she is our last.

With Hayley I started planning her first birthday party like four months in advance. My mother in law and I handmade seventy birthday invitations. It was all done up in a princess theme and she had a birthday cake to die for. I meticulously planned every single detail and obsessed over it for weeks before the big day. On her actual birthday party day I was a little disappointed that she wasn't totally into opening presents and mostly the gifts were shredded by other kids attending the party. I tried to have someone keep a list for me to write thank you notes and still I wound up afterward with a few gifts that I had no idea where they came from. A few people got very generic thank you notes as in, "thank you for the gift, Hayley is going to have so much fun with it!". Overall the party was fun but I can't remember what I spent so much time planning?

With Sam? Well, we have been so consumed by our housing situation I have done none of that. Also not to mention that my sister and her partner's baby will also be one just two days after Sam. Originally we were planning to do parties on separate weekends and then we decided to do it all as one big party. So knowing that it is their baby's first birthday and remembering how much effort goes into a first birthday I have been content to sit back and let them do the agonizing.

Not because I don't care as much about Sam (I DO!) or because I don't care about planning (I DO!) but because I remember that much like a wedding, the day just goes too fast to stress over the smallest details like how many varieties of chips to offer with the sandwiches for lunch. I look back on photos of my first birthday and the only photos that even mattered were of me wearing my cake.

So as of right now my big plan for Sam's birthday is to worry about her own personal cake. Where to buy it, what kind to get, and what it will look like. In my opinion, as long as we have a bouncy house for the kids, food, and our friends attending then the party will be just fine. If you are planning a first birthday by all means, stress all you need to. Get it out of your system. The party will be fine. The kid won't even remember it. The photos are what count (as my sister told me last night) so just have fun!