The Not-So-Divine Secrets of -Motherhood-

Induction is Imminent

Finally. So let me start off by saying that I specifically did NOT take an Ambien last night so that today when I went to my appointment my doctor could see truly how miserable I am. And the worst part was that last night was by far my worst night ever. I was up every half an hour, my ribs went from a dull ache to a screaming pain due to the uterus compressing just above them, and I got maybe a grand tally of forty six minutes of sleep. Even the cat was sorry that she chose to sleep on the futon with me. (I knew it was going to be a bad night so I slept on the futon so that my husband could at least get one good sleep).

I went in for my appointment and immediately the doctor noticed that I was "all baby". Yep. That kind of happens when you are overdue. I have gained five pounds in just the last two weeks alone- so that stuff you read about the weight gain levelling off or even decreasing a bit in the last few weeks didn't apply to me. I put on a solid 30 pounds total. Pretty respectable, and I'm not complaining, it just seems that last five pounds are focused right on my ribs.

He measured, my fundal distance is 41- which typically corresponds with your number of weeks of pregnancy. We talked about the rib compressing phenomenon and he said that is because most babies at this stage start to spread out as in side to side and mine has just continued to grow upwards. At least he was humoring me and tried to recognize the fact that there is indeed some validity to how my uterus is sitting.

Before he even began the exam I bet my husband that I would only be two centimeters dilated and still only 80% effaced. Sure enough, I am 1-2 dilated (2 is when he stretches a bit) and 70-80% effaced. Knew that was coming so no big shock or disappointment. There was one little ray of sunshine- he said that my cervix had moved into a much more anterior position and that seemed to please him immensely.

I was on the verge of tears (real tears, not manufactured) when I told him that I just knew I couldn't hold out until Sunday to see if labor progressed on it's own or to induce. I told him I would take a midnight appointment if that was all they had. He went and called his girlfriends at the hospital and unfortunately because it is such a busy day midnight was the only time they had so we booked it. The goal for my doctor is that I will either be ready somewhere before 7:30 am or around noon, when he won't have to disrupt his patients. My goal of course is to have this baby and I could give a damn if other ladies have to be rescheduled- I've been through my share of those. But I did want to play it up a little because I knew one of the main reasons he wanted me to wait until Sunday to induce was because he didn't want to have to get called in over the weekend.

I told him that I was forever grateful for getting me in earlier rather than later and that I would do everything possible to hurry up and have that baby during business hours so that he can get in a round of golf over the weekend without any disruptions from me. See, super-cranky pregnant girl can be thoughtful too!

I hope that there are rooms available- he actually would have sent me over to the hospital direct from our appointment but apparently there were already five inductions/deliveries going on at the same time. I think at this point I don't even care if I do labor in the broom closet- it brings me one step closer to meeting my baby and one step closer to having some other physical condition to focus on instead of my permanently aching ribs.

The initial plan is that they are going to start me on Pitocin. However, that is subject to change if they do an exam and feel that I need to spend a little time with Cervidil first. I'm hoping I don't need the Cervidil- that is a long process from what I have read. I would rather start with the Pitocin. The doctor said he could have broken my water while I was there in his office this morning but he really did want me to spend a little time on the Pit before pushing it.

I will be back online as soon as I can to give you all the gory details!

Lost Mucous Plug but no Labor YET

So all day I was hoping that my body would spontaneously erupt into labor, now that the magical mucous plug had made it's exit. Yeah right. This baby is probably so solidly wedged in my uterus that it is going to take a clear act of medical intervention to get it to come out.

I have had my standard Braxton Hick contractions (are you tired of hearing about those yet?). I also have had this dull ache that comes and goes on the right side of my back- but not my lower back- more up high like in my ribcage. I haven't exactly been keeping track of how often it comes and goes because I think it has more to do with poor posture than anything labor related. And honestly, other than that, absolutely nothing exciting.

What a fizzle. I googled all kinds of things today. Of course there is absolutely no indication of timeline from when you lose your plug to when you go into labor. Some people are within minutes or hours and others lose their plug and still have to be induced weeks later. Scary thing that I read and I'm not sure if it is true- if you don't go into labor within 48 hours the plug will regenerate itself. What?? Fantastic. I had also read the same thing about if your membranes had been stripped. That they may reattach and would need to be stripped again a few days later.

I wish I could find something online that would tell me approximately how dilated you would have to be to lose your plug. Like, for example, the plug typically doesn't fall out or dissolve until at least three centimeters dilated. But of course, there is no hard evidence to support any of that as every single woman is different.

In the mean time, I wait. Not very patiently, now that my ribs are aching in the front and also the back. Lee's friend actually wound up with a cracked rib because of it! Now how scary is that thought... Although actually, if it did happen then I would most definitely be able to tell my doctor "I told you so." I know the man seriously thinks I am a hypochondriac but after the first thirteen weeks didn't I settle into a much calmer, accepting state? I stuck to my scheduled appointments and I didn't cry for an ultrasound at each appointment. I think I have done remarkably well (after the first thirteen weeks that is). He really should know by now that I wouldn't be pressing the issue if I didn't really have a problem.

Well, I'm off for more of the waiting game. We went to Blockbuster and rented a load of movies so at least tomorrow I will have something to do. To be honest, I can't stand sitting around the house while all my friends are at work. I feel useless and it sure makes for long days. Today I even waxed the granite countertops. I'm kind of running out of "special projects".

Let's hope that I get the 3 am urge and I can gently wake my husband with the standard "Honey, I think it's time".

Are you ready to pop that kid out yet?

It seems to be a common phrase that people don't mind asking pregnant women that are either close to their due date or over due. And how it is any more appropriate than asking infertile couples whether they plan to have children or not? In reality, I know it isn't as hurtful to ask a pregnant woman if she is ready to have the baby but the truth is the two questions parallel each other in the fact that in neither case does the participant have any control over the process. If it were only so easy to just decide *poof* today I am going to have this baby.

Night before last I had the worst sleep yet. I was up every half hour to forty five minutes. There were plenty of contractions- but they were the non-productive (at least how I think of them) Braxton Hicks kind. The problem is that because my uterus sits at an odd angle- not straight up and down like all the anatomy pictures- but more oval shaped from lower left abdomen to upper right rib cage- I have problems with those Braxton Hicks contractions. See, my uterus already overlaps my rib cage by just a touch. So when I have contractions they compress my right ribs and the pain is pretty unbearable. I've tried everything. Once that dull ache begins in my ribcage it takes about twenty minutes to subside. Which doesn't help when the contractions are coming about twenty to thirty minutes apart.

Yesterday I got out of bed more tired and cranky than I have been in a long time. And I could feel myself on the verge of tears- for no apparent reason. I saw my husband off for work and then decided that I wasn't going to sit around and feel sorry for myself. I made a LONG list of chores and then set about working on cleaning the house. One of my sisters works for me and had to call with a couple of work related questions. The first time she called in the morning she asked "So are you just ready to pop that kid out yet?". Deep breath, "Of course I am but it's not like I have any say in it".

I kept cleaning house. All the while feeling more and more like I was losing control. I couldn't put my finger on it and still can't but I was just so hormonal that I wanted to cry every time I let my mind wander from anything but the chores at hand. My sister called again in the afternoon for another work question and asked me for a second time if I was ready to pop the kid out. I feel bad for doing it but I told her that if she asked me that again I was going to scream. Then I started crying and hung up. The crying jag lasted about half an hour. My husband came home and I burst into a spontaneous tear production again.

By the time dinner was all done I made up my mind- I was going to commit the cardinal sin that I have judged so many other pregnant people for. I chose a nice bottle of wine and had my husband pour me a glass and then help me into the bathtub. Judge me if you want, at this point, I don't even care. The truth is that my mental state was clearly on the edge of a breakdown so one glass of wine was minor for me.

It wasn't one of the most potent bottles of wine we had so in case you are judging you will be happy to know that I did not get looped from my one glass. Nor was my baby drunk in utero. It was just enough to take that constant verge of tears and dull it so that I could fall asleep. Which I did- but woke back up after half an hour due to the whole aching rib and tremendous reflux from the wine. See, I will get my punishment after all.

I tried last night to sleep in the recliner. Too awkward because I can't comfortably sleep on my back and trying to lay on my side was a joke. I finally took an Ambien after three hours of discomfort and the tears creeping back in. I grabbed all the pillows I could find and plopped myself on the futon in my sewing room. I figured that at least my husband could get one night of sleep. Funny thing- the Ambien did help me enough that I was able to sleep through those rib aching contractions. I know I was still having them because each time I woke to go to the bathroom I could feel them. At least though my senses were dulled just enough to allow me to relax and sleep through them.

So I woke up this morning figuring I am going to have to talk to the doctor and explain to him why it is critical for him to induce earlier than Sunday night. If he really doesn't want to work when he's on call then I think he needs to make arrangements to get me admitted tomorrow night with the thought that the baby will come sometime on Friday. This is no longer just about me being anxious to meet my baby or my fear that it will be too large. This is all about the fact that my ribs are so bruised they will probably take weeks to heal and my mental state is close to breakdown already. It cannot possibly be healthy to wait for a mother to have a complete breakdown and then introduce a newborn into her life afterward.

Just one little thing that may or may not help my cause- I lost my mucous plug this morning. I was expecting it to look something like a cork- and to have some sort of shape to it. If you don't want to get grossed out then quit reading here. It wasn't a solid form at all- it was like jelly. It didn't just plop out, when I wiped there was clear mucous on the paper- somewhat like eggwhite cervical fluid. I wiped again, next swipe brought out more mucous but this time in a blob, tinged with brown blood. (I assume from when the dr stripped my membranes). Third swipe and there was more of it. Then that was it.

I went to the bathroom again half an hour later and apparently caught the tail end of it. So I'm thinking that is a good sign- although I have indeed read all the stories online. Losing your plug could mean labor will start within a day or within a week or more. I'm just hoping for the within a day theory.

Doctor Appointment but no Baby yet

We've all read the stories on the internet or have friends of friends that went in for their regular check up only to discover that they needed to go to the hospital immediately as labor and delivery were imminent.

I'm not one of those people.

However, at least at my appointment this morning I discovered that I had put on two more pounds, my blood pressure was still pretty good, and as far as dilation and effacement, well, I'm working on it. Today I was dilated 1-2 (2 being when he really "stretched" me- ouch) and I am effaced 70-80%. Not a ton of progress but also not the exact same as I was a week ago, so I guess I'll take it.

I was just getting ready to ask him about sweeping my membranes when he did it. Umm. Yeah. How can I describe that? I'm really going to have to think about how to put it to words, maybe I can come back later with a better visual. It felt like he had a sharp square block and he was trying to roll it end over end. Although it was really only his two fingers and they aren't sharp or square. At least he was relatively quick about it, I'm not really sure that he gave it the full "roto-rooter" as my best friend's husband calls it but we'll find out.

He did mention that there would be a little spotting. I had read that somewhere too so I wasn't worried about it. Although apparently I completely disregarded the fact that the spotting wouldn't conveniently wait for me to run my errands and then get home where I could put on a pad. I went to the mall after my appointment to exchange something and discovered in the bathroom that the spotting was much like the first gush of my period and it was super bright red. A little freaked out, yes but still not too worried. It has since stopped, and I also have not had ANY contractions, Braxton Hicks or otherwise since the appointment so I am led to believe that I will be one of those people that sweeping membranes has no effect on.

Prognosis? I go back on Thursday for another check up. On Thursday we will set our deadline day that if I have not gone into labor I will automatically just go to the hospital and check in to be induced. My doctor is favoring Sunday night (because he doesn't want to have to work over the weekend and he is sure if they induce late enough I won't have the baby until Monday). Personally, I think if I go in on Thursday and haven't had the baby then we should induce first thing Friday morning. We'll see.

What I really need to be doing right now is getting off the computer and going for a walk. Or some deep squats. Or something to help put a little more pressure on that cervix. I'm just afraid that all it will do is tire me out and the end result will be the same- my baby is going to stay nice and comfy right where it is.

Now that I'm a housewife I suppose I can check back in again later today. Maybe I'll just give up on the thought of physical exercise and just go for a nap. That is sounding pretty appealing too.

The Waiting Game

Have I mentioned that I am a poor sport? I don't enjoy playing games because I don't enjoy losing. So this is the master waiting game, and I am sorely losing. I have had absolutely no changes whatsoever that are noteworthy. I guess about two weeks ago I had some pretty gnarly contractions that were so exciting I thought the end was near. Of course, it wasn't, and those few contractions amounted to absolutely nothing. They have yet to even return so maybe I imagined them.

I still have regular Braxton Hicks contractions. The baby is now sitting in a prime position to tangle with some random nerve every now and then that sends electric shock down my inner thigh (usually when I am sitting on the toilet). The baby is still as active as ever- moving and stretching even though there really is nowhere left to stretch. I am 100% certain that I have not effaced or dilated any more than I was four or five days ago. With that in mind I don't have much hope for my doctor appointment tomorrow to yield any fantastic exciting news.

The only good news is that after I do go to the doctor and he tells me to just keep waiting I don't have to go to work and pretend to be normal. I can come home, change into sweats (if I opt to wear something real to the doctor visit to begin with) and curl up on the couch with my book and my cat. At least I have that to look forward to.

I've been waiting for that burst of energy because my house desperately needs a good cleaning but that hasn't come either. I'm watching dust settle and I can even write "dust me" in strategic locations around the house. Yet I really don't even have the desire to hastily wipe it down with the swiffer duster (what I consider the lazy way to dust). Anyone that knows me knows that this is clearly not me and yet I could really care less to do anything about it. I think maybe I am rebelling just a bit- and using my pregnant state as an excuse.

Is there such a thing as pre-partum depression? Because I think I have a case of it.

Due date and no baby

You got it. I'm still here. Pregnant. I finally gave up the whole "working right up until the baby comes" thing. I really wanted to spend all of my maternity leave at home with the baby, not waddling around pondering when the baby would get here but I am just too tired and cranky to go to work anymore. So I made today my last day.

I am however going to be upset if it really does take me another entire week to finally have this baby and then I spent one of my weeks of paid leave sitting around doing nothing. At this point though, we planned that I will take twelve weeks off, and I guess I'm going to take those twelve weeks whether I only get to spend eleven of them with my baby or not.

Warning- to all Type "A" personalities out there- this is a total test of your endurance. I think it is designed to break your very nature before the baby gets here and throws your world into a chaos like you have never known. It is the tipping point- where you finally realize that no matter what plans you have in place they will all go out the window. And don't bother making any more plans because those too will go.

I guess I will be checking back in more regularly now. Especially since I am now technically a housewife.

The Iron Cervix Still Rules

Today was a doctor appointment. The difference between last week and this week is, drum roll please...... absolutely nothing. Diddly squat. Last week I was 70% effaced and fingertip dilated, the baby's head was at a zero to minus one station. The doctor thought the baby was seven pounds. This week I am still fingertip dilated and only 60% effaced, baby's head is still at that zero to minus one. I was quick to remind the doctor that last week he said 70%, as if maybe he lied to me last week. He said that it all depends, sometimes it can fluctuate a bit and for some people it goes backward all together. I'm going to google that later.

He also said that he thought the baby was still around seven pounds. I'm thinking, yeah right. I put on two pounds this week. You cannot tell me that the baby did not gain any weight this week. And if it did gain the requisite half pound then how was it seven pounds last week?

I wanted him to do an ultrasound, just to see if he could measure the baby's head and try to guess if it really was going to be a big 'un or not. He didn't buy off on that. He said that ultimately they cannot really tell what the true size and weight of the baby are and if there will be any problems with the size of it in delivery unless it is approaching 4500 grams (about ten pounds), which my baby most definitely is not.

Here is how the appointment went:

My husband came with me, because he was concerned that if I was able to talk the doctor into the ultrasound that I would peek to see if there were any bits and pieces. Oh yeah, and he also came in case the doctor really did find that I was ripe to induce so that we could "schedule" it together. We left the house for the appointment that I specifically made early in the day so that the doctor would still be on time.

Ten minutes away from the doctor's office I got a call on my cell phone. The doctor got called out for delivery. Could I reschedule to tomorrow? Mass hysteria in my voice "Absolutely NOT." The scheduler, who most definitely knows me by now says "Well then, can you come in at 11?" Do I have a choice? Of course I will be there at 11. I'm fighting back the tears of frustration that I feel coming on. I turn around and drive to work instead.

We do go to the doctor's office for the eleven am appointment. I go to sign in and ask the receptionist "Is the doctor back?" You guessed it. "Well, he was here but he just left for another delivery five minutes ago". Yeah. I figured he would have. At this point, I'm done. I know I'm going to cry so instead I tell her "I'll wait". I can see it in her eyes. I am the difficult patient. But she too knows better than to argue with me.

Really, the wait wasn't that bad. We waited about forty five minutes for him to get back and another fifteen minutes once we were put into the room. An hour? Hell, I waited an hour and a half for him last week. At least I saved myself the drive back to work and another rescheduled appointment.

Of course, it was a little funny undressing from the waist down in front of my husband. The last time I had to do that we were in an ultrasound room that had a separate bathroom so I could demurely wrap the paper towel around my waist. This time it was all out in the wind. As I was taking off my pants and undies he took the liberty of humming striptease music "ba-da-da-dum-bum". And not just once, he kept going for as long as it took me to undress. I found this so hilarious that it took me twice the time to undress and it was so awkward to laugh and undress that I almost fell over. Thanks for the reality check sweetie! I really do need to live with a little more humor every now and then.

I got comfy on the table and waited for the doctor. I know the drill. He came in, slid out the board for my legs to rest on and measured. Probably my least favorite part- nothing exciting about the tape measure and the prodding to locate my pubic bone. He listened to the heartbeat on doppler and said something about good acceleration, whatever that means. Then as he is groping my stomach to check out the baby he asks "Michael?"

Incredulous I ask, "You think that it's a boy?" Duh. He says, "No, Michael, it is a perfume, it smells like you are wearing Michael. Are you?" Umm, no. I didn't even know there is a perfume by that name. My husband is quietly snickering in the corner.

Still groping he says "We've got two more weeks." My eyeballs pop out of my head. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TWO MORE WEEKS, I CAN'T GO TWO MORE WEEKS". No silly, he reminds me that he is going to be out of the office in two more weeks and that he will make sure that I have the baby before then. Damn straight! There is absolutely no way this baby is going to go two more weeks anyway, why would you even say that? Unless of course he is just pushing my buttons, which I think at that point he was. I think my husband's eyes about popped out of his head too but once he realized the joke was on me then the quiet snickering turned into a hearty belly laugh. That's ok, laugh at me this time mister. Your turn will come too. Don't know when but it will.

So ultimately here is what the deal is- I'm not dilated enough or effaced enough for straight Pitocin. If my doctor believed in inductions (which he really doesn't) then it would take a regimen of prostaglandin to soften the cervix and Pitocin for dilation. I've read enough horror stories about that type of induction to know that I don't really want to go through with it. Plus my Bishop scores didn't really inspire confidence that induction would be successful for me, so in the mean time, I wait.

My next appointment is Monday. At least I don't have to wait a full seven days for my next torture session. Really that is all that they have become. For the last three weeks I have been effaced anywhere between 60-70% and not dilated. I have walked, we have had sex marathons again like when we were trying to conceive and still nothing. I still refuse to resort to castor oil. My digestive system has enough problems on it's own.

As I was scheduling my appointment for Monday I told the scheduler that I was hoping I wouldn't make it to the next appointment. Bless her heart, she knew exactly what I was thinking. She said "Maybe you can have your baby in the middle of the day and make some other chicks have to reschedule their appointments". Amen Sister.

Another day passes

And here I am... At least tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. My anticipation of these final doctor appointments is much like my anticipation from my very early ones- if they can tell me one thing that has changed, anything, I will be excited.

I have been wondering though if the final stages of pregnancy have any sort of bearing on how pregnant women feel about their husbands. I find that I am like a giddy schoolgirl all over again- my feelings of love have surged for my husband (if loving him more than I did was even possible) and I am overwhelmed with just how much I adore him. I have caught myself checking him out in the wedding photo that sits on my desk and since we also work together I sneak little glances his way whenever he is in the office. I think about him more and more, and about how blessed I am to have someone that loves me and takes care of me in the ways that he does. And I guess I think that giving birth to our baby is only one small way for me to show him just how much I really do love him.

Since I haven't read anything in any of my pregnancy books about this phenomenon I am assuming that it must just be me, but really, my feelings for him are just so tremendous that I can't help but wonder if I am the only person this has ever happened to. I mean, really, this is a life changing event. We will forever be tied together. I have spent the last nine (ten) months nurturing life inside of me that is half his.

What an absolutely amazing way to show love. I still can't believe this is happening to me.

And the watched pot is NOT boiling...

You got it. Still pregnant. Absolutely no change in my contractions whatsoever. If anything I think now I notice them even less than before. Is that possible?

So anyway, the only thing I can say about my pregnancy at this stage is that yep, I'm over it. Don't get me wrong. I am so blessed- I gained my textbook twenty five pounds, I don't have gestational diabetes, hypertension, or edema. My face still looks like my own face as opposed to the doughboy look that I honestly thought it would take on. I am soooo not complaining about my pregnancy.

I am however complaining (yet again) about not having even one ounce of control over this whole process. I have tried walking, I have tried sex, neither have worked. I am not going to try castor oil for fear of life threatening diarrhea (as I'm sure would happen to me instead of inducing labor).

And I will say this- thank you to all of the complete strangers out there that have gone out of their way to tell me I am beautiful or cute. When I am not pregnant I am going to go out of my way to tell tired, miserable-looking pregnant women how beautiful they are too. You would be amazed at how much that one little compliment will boost your spirits.

So that is all for the day- no changes whatsoever. And probably this is TMI but all that cervix checking when trying to get pregnant does me no good now. I used to be an expert on my own cervix- I could tell you when it was ideal (high, soft, and open) and when it was firmly clamped shut and hard as could be. I figured maybe I would try checking my dilation out for myself. First of all, I can't reach it. So checking it is definitely not going to happen for me. One less thing for me to control. One more thing for me to complain about.

Wah-freakin-wah. I get it.

Thirty eight weeks five days pregnant

So you can gather that I am still pregnant. I suppose I have created my own misery because originally the doctor set my due date at October 24th. Then three ultrasounds later every single one of them consistently estimated my due date as October 20th, so I set my mind on the 20th. In reality, it probably is the 24th. Anyway, my mind tells me the 20th so that is the target date I use, but I am sure it is the 24th, so in all of my pictures and posts I use the 24th for calculating my weeks and days pregnant.

That means today I am thirty eight weeks five days pregnant. Still. We walked the outlet mall yesterday and I even had a romp last night but nothing. And those gnarly contractions that I had on Thursday night? Haven't had anything like it since. My husband blames it on my cup of tea. He says I should drink more- but I know that isn't where they came from. If that was the case I would drink tea until I floated away.

So as a little indulgence yesterday at the outlet mall I bought myself my first Coach purse. I was feeling a little rebellious- and although I swore no purse was ever worth more than twenty bucks I ponied up and spent a hundred forty five dollars between a purse and a tiny wallet. The purse was a great deal, the drivers license holder of a wallet was not. Either way I didn't really care. I can't yet buy clothes because I don't know for sure what size I will go back to (although I suspect I will easily get back into my regular clothes within a few short months). I can't buy shoes because my feet have increased half a size plus swollen to a size wide- so I wouldn't even know what size shoe to buy. I can't buy any cute baby clothes because I already own everything yellow or green that they make and I really want to get the baby something gender specific.

So that left me with a Coach purse. I have officially joined the Coach Purse Club that the girls at work belong to. Except for one thing. I know they will take one look at my purse and go "Uh, that's LAST year's model". (For the price I got it for it may even be two years ago!) Whatever.

Anyway- there are about fifteen hours left in this day. I am really hoping that Yvonne's sense about today is right- so I'm trying to figure out what I should do to "help" things along. Unfortunately I don't have a lawn to mow like Julie (at least not yet anyway- we're planting grass in the spring). So I'm thinking I will head back to the mall today to return some things that in my pregnant insanity I actually thought my husband might wear. And then after that I guess it's nothing. I don't really have that urgent desire to clean my house- although my best friend said she never did get that burst of nesting energy before either of her kids.

We'll see. I will check back in tonight after my best friend heads home for an update. As of now, I'm really pregnant and really bummed that either the baby or my body isn't ready to give up on this pregnancy just yet.

False hope

Yep, last night the contractions "changed" as my doctor said they might. I was overjoyed. Ecstatic. Also disappointed because they only stuck around for about 45 minutes and there were only two or three of them so I didn't even have much time to contemplate what could really be happening.

It started off with me making a cup of tea to take upstairs and unwind. All of a sudden the usual cramping/contracting business turned a little painful in my abdomen and seemed to involve my lower back. I walked laps around the kitchen and it didn't go away. YAY! Two thumbs up for a 'real' contraction!

It lasted a short period- I didn't even think to look at the clock- and then a few minutes later (maybe ten, fifteen?) another one started. I told my husband to hurry up and eat his toast (I was a bad wife and didn't make any dinner so he ate some cereal and toast). I was thinking maybe we better head upstairs and have a quick romp for good measure. After all, my water hadn't broken yet. Except during the second contraction I really couldn't think about romping.

A third one started probably fifteen minutes later. Equally as intense as the first two. I really was starting to get excited. I headed upstairs anyway because I figured that if they continued I was going to want to take a shower before heading to the hospital.

And there is where the story ends. I climbed into bed to relax and I relaxed myself right out of contractions. My husband came upstairs and we watched tv. He fell asleep before we could romp but I was wide awake- mind racing at the hope that the contractions would start up again. Of course, they didn't. All that I got out of the deal was one terrible night of sleep- up every forty five minutes to pee and no other noteworthy events for the rest of the night.

So I wouldn't even call it false labor. It was false hope. But I have decided that since I have now experienced those intense contractions maybe it would benefit me to start walking. My doctor told me at my most recent appointment that walking would not benefit me, it would only tire me out if the contractions were just minor Braxton-Hicks. I'm thinking now I am moving on to the next stage. I went for a walk after dinner.

And I found out that my best friend flew in for the weekend to surprise me so I have no doubt that tomorrow we will be walking the mall, any mall, every mall in town. Maybe we can still convince this baby to come this weekend... Hopefully I will be back with some sort of update in the next day or two.

Three little words

No Baby Yet.

I'm still pregnant.

It's pretty miserable.

I'm very anxious.

What the heck?

Please come soon.

Thirty eight weeks pregnant- update

Alas, no baby yet. Today was my weekly exam where the doctor (so glad he is back) confirmed that he does indeed believe the baby to be seven pounds. I am 70% effaced (still? last week it was 60-70%) At least this week I am fingertip dilated (going to have to Google that one later). And the baby's head is at a zero to minus one station. Great. So all in all, nothing really exciting. I haven't managed to efface completely, I'm not really dilating, and the baby's head is "getting down there" but not quite there yet.

At least one good thing came from this- I told the doctor about my sleep issues and he gave me a prescription for Ambien. He also went so far as to mention that for some people getting a good night of sleep is enough to allow their body to relax and let the contractions work as they are supposed to. Needless to say, I am planning quite the bedtime ritual for tonight.

I am brewing up a cup of Sleepytime Tea (decaf, naturally). I am going to draw up a bath in the whirlpool tub (not nearly as hot as I would like it but just enough to keep me warm), and I am going to pop an Ambien (after I'm out of the tub as my husband cautiously worried). And hopefully, just hopefully that even if the Ambien isn't enough to relax me into natural labor at least it will relax me back into one real night of sleep.

The plan of action is that next Wednesday if I haven't already had the baby we will discuss our options for gently encouraging this baby to make it's grand entrance. And maybe by this time next week I won't care if it is gentle encouragement or not. I find that my patience has worn thin and there isn't much I can (or care) to do about it.

To end this on a somewhat positive note- I will definitely miss having my little critter moving around inside me. Even now at nine months pregnant I am still fascinated with the movement. Yes, sometimes it can be downright painful, but for the most part it is an amazing feeling- to know that life grows inside of you and can be felt nearly all the time. This baby is a mass of arms and legs (knees, elbows, hands, feet, whatever it is that is moving around in there) and if it is nearly as wiggly on the outside as it is on the inside then I suspect bathtime is going to be very tricky in our house. It will definitely take two of us to make sure the little wiggler doesn't squirm through!

Hopefully I will be back with an update in a few days and we won't have to wait an entire week for some exciting news.

Full Moon and Labor Statistics?

I just love the internet. Seriously. You can always find something online no matter how crazy the topic is. So I typed in "full moon and labor statistics". There were a bunch of random pages but then low and behold, there was this one. You will want to check it out.

In essence, they did a study over a twelve month period that analyzed births from every lunar phase of the month and tried to determine if there was any statistical significance to birth rates and full moons. I'm sad to report that there was none. Full moon has absolutely no influence over the number of women in labor or babies born according to this study.

Which is good, because it means I can stop obsessing that I will have the baby this weekend. I just need to think back to when I first got pregnant and how I would set little milestones to accomplish instead of looking at the end date. That way I can focus on getting through each day with celebration instead of counting down and realizing that there are still too many days for my liking.

So as of right now my next milestone date is Wednesday because my doctor will be back to work and that is also my next appointment. Considering Wednesday is only four more days away I think I can get there without too much drama. I'll worry about setting another milestone day after I hear what the doctor has to say on Wednesday.

However, in the grand scheme of things, I am technically due in thirteen more days. So even if I am freakishly obsessed, my days really are numbered. I could go overdue, and if that happens I will deal with it then. In the mean time, we are having sex every day (two reasons- my husband won't be getting any for awhile and because we have heard that sperm is nature's comparable to Pitocin), I walked about two and a half miles this morning (my pelvic bones are thanking me for that now) and I'm just going to try and rest in between all that exercise.

As far as symptoms of my body getting ready for labor- yes, I have some. Those minor period like cramps have increased both in intensity and frequency. Still nothing to be alarmed about but at least now I know that I did not imagine them up. The Braxton Hicks are still there- some days they are pretty constant, one right after another with only a few minutes in between. But again, no other associated symptoms like discharge or back pain so I know they are just a practice run. Funny new symptom to add- sometimes when the baby moves I can feel it in my cervix. It is the strangest feeling and not quite one that I can describe. If you can imagine it, just think about your cervix involuntarily flexing. Oh yeah, and I have heard that the onset of labor is often accompanied by diarrhea as your body's natural way of trying to flush itself out. I have had the trots pretty often over the last week- nothing to write home about but enough for me to notice that the constipation phase appears to be over for me.

So that is the latest and greatest. A day in the life of a very pregnant woman. We will talk about moods in another post because let me tell you- my mood has been all over the board. Imagine that.

No news is not necessarily good news

So when I don't check in for a few days at a time it doesn't necessarily mean that the baby has come, it just means that I am apparently too lazy or too tired to log in and type three words "no baby yet". I need to get better about that.

I had a check up on Wednesday but I had to see the Nurse Practictioner as my doctor is still out of town. I asked her how big she thought the baby was and she guessed it to be around seven pounds. My eyeballs about popped out of my head. Seven pounds already??? I still have two full weeks to go! This baby could be eight pounds or more if I go full term. How exactly am I going to squeeze out eight pounds? I am normally a size two. There isn't much room down there.

Anyway, nothing exciting to report. I am 60-70% effaced but not dilated at all. Of course, it would seem then that my iron cervix that wouldn't let me get pregnant to begin with is going to keep up it's diligence and it probably won't want to let the baby out either. I googled "dilated but not effaced" the other night and of course every story had to do with people not dilating on their own at all and instead needing to have topical gel applied to their cervix to try and soften it up. Most of those people also went on to share their horrendous twenty four hour agonizing labor stories so there is something to look forward to.

So as of right now I'm pretty sure the full moon is going to come and go with no effect on me. Which is fine too because the more I thought about it, if full moon really does wreak havoc and pregnant women cram the local hospitals I don't want to have my baby this weekend. There would be a good chance that I would be the last one to the hospital and then I would wind up laboring in the broom closet as they would be out of space. They would be out of private rooms and I really would get stuck boarding with someone, and knowing my luck it would be on another floor like the geriatric ward because the maternity ward is so full. I'm trying to talk myself out of being disappointed that the baby hasn't decided to appear early, despite my extreme attempt to just "will" it into existence. Thinking long enough and hard enough about having a baby is not enough to induce labor or to even force your body into working in that direction, so save yourself the hassle.

Lesson number one that I must continually repeat to myself- this is the end of life as I know it. I have absolutely no control over this process, I haven't had any up until this point and will have even less thereafter. Whether I like the thought or not, this baby really is going to dictate and I really am going to succumb.

No Baby Yet- Just MIA

I'm sure with my due date approaching and long periods of lack of blogging people are bound to wonder if the baby has finally made its appearance. As of today, no. (sigh of disappointment) My inactive blog is all due to an internet service provider change. My husband decided to switch our high speed internet provider, no big deal. He called and told our current provider that they were being replaced and was told that it would take a few days for them to cut off the service.

Twenty minutes later we were without service. It's funny how quickly they can shut it off but it took us two weeks to get it turned on in the first place. So the new provider said it would only be a few days to turn on and due to some stupid glitch it took them a week.

Have you tried going without internet for an entire week? It's like you feel completely disconnected from what is going on. No checking e-mail, bank balances, random news, weather, etc. I thought I was going to die. We tried catching someone else's wireless broadcast but people in our neighborhood got savvy to that and of the four people broadcasting all four were encrypted. Darn. At least now we have internet back. I feel as if my life is whole again.

It's probably ok that I haven't had internet for the last week because I don't have much to report anyway. The period-like cramps are still there, they are definitely more noticeable now so they are not a figment of my imagination. I'm sure it is the baby trying to settle into position.

We did the hospital tour so at least now we know where labor and delivery are located. For being one of the older hospitals in town it really wasn't that bad. Apparently they updated things a few years ago. Like I keep saying, it isn't as if I am going there for a spa stay anyway so it really isn't that important to me that the room be a mini-suite. They do have private rooms, which are a big relief, as I was told by several friends that also delivered there that they bunked with someone and it was miserable.

My bag is finally packed. I'm pretty much ready as far as the baby goes. Of course, my house isn't clean because yesterday we had our last hurrah. I tried to back out of it but apparently our friends had also invited friends and there were too many people for me to politely try and explain my insanity when I threw out this offer three weeks ago.

Our party was nice, I really didn't do a typical Jenn-style party (going ALL out) so there wasn't much for me to have to clean up today. Good thing because I haven't done a thing all day. At least I can say that my last crazy nesting energy hasn't arrived yet so I don't think the baby will be here all that soon.

Only one thing worth noting, I think the baby is dropping. Not like a huge drop that everyone will see and notice, but I noticed it when I woke up this morning. And my husband noted that the baby is dropping below the "equator". He keeps an eye on where the bulge is located in relation to my belly button and hip bones.

Some of the girls at work are predicting the 7th or around there- as that will be a full moon. The clock is ticking...