The Not-So-Divine Secrets of -Motherhood-

I am not cheating

I realize that since I admitted to having a writing affair you are probably thinking that my lack of blogging is due to channeling my creative energy elsewhere. Unfortunately it is not. Hayley has had the stomach flu.

The babysitter's family had it over Thanksgiving weekend so we knew we were gambling by taking her there on Monday. We got the call on Tuesday at noon that she woke from her nap vomiting so we brought her home and cuddled with her while trying to get her to keep liquids down.

She vomited for 24 hours and then the trots started. I have some sad, sad pictures of her taken with my blackberry (prefacing this as you will wonder why the quality is so poor) but since I was forced to change my internet browser to AOL software I am unable to use the link to insert them into my blog. In the mean time I have a ticket in to Typepad and hopefully I will be able to show you all how very sad my last few days were.  Look at these sad little eyes.

Yesterday she was still vomiting around 2:30 in the afternoon so I made a quick appointment with the pediatrician. I knew it was the stomach flu and there wasn't much they could do for it but I was getting concerned about the fever and the loss of fluids, I mean, she is still a baby.

We didn't get to see our regular doctor but we saw one in the group that we had seen before. Initially his reaction was that her 103.4 fever wasn't concerning and that we could get her to drink enough over the course of the next 24 hours to help her through it. He went out to get a prescription for an anti-nausea medicine and when he came back decided to take a second listen to her heart.

He then called the pediatric unit at the ER and sent us on our way. By the time we got there and were triaged Hayley's fever was 104.5 and it wasn't with an ear or forehead thermometer. (I hesitate to post the r word because I don't need any pervs finding my website the wrong way). We spent two hours waiting to be seen and during that time Hayley went completely lethargic and her limp little body was on fire.

The little girl waiting in front of us was three years old and there for the same thing as Hayley- only she was skipping and singing her ABC's. I was wondering why her mother wasted precious time bringing her to the ER, for heavens sake, just take her to quick care! So we waited forty five more minutes after that little girl got a bed before we were seen.

They started her on fluids immediately and I don't think my heart has ever hurt so bad. It just tore me up to see her tiny little hand being worked to get an IV in and then taped to the board so she couldn't move it. I knew it was the right thing for her I just couldn't decide if it hurt more for me to see her sick or for me to see them trying to make her well.

Oh and the little girl in front of us? Her remedy was that she needed to drink a glass of apple juice for the doctor and then he could release her. Can you sense my anger here? My child is hovering near a fiery abyss and this little girl is there for a five hundred dollar cup of apple juice in front of us? WTF?

After pumping her full of fluids and giving her a super dose of Motrin she was sleeping like a baby. I mean, like she should have been. We got out of there around 11:30 last night and truly thought that she would wake up all smiles and happy this morning.

She woke with another fever of 103 and just couldn't stop crying. I didn't blame her, I wanted to cry too. She is totally a daddy's girl though- my husband picked her up and she laid her head down on his chest and went back to sleep. So we did what we know we shouldn't do, we all crawled back into our bed together for some desperately needed sleep.

All day I worked on her fever and around 3:30 I think we finally turned the bend. I'm hoping she is well tomorrow but for now I have to head off to bed. Two terrible days and short nights have left me virtually useless. I will post photos when I can get my technical issues ironed out.

Dear Hayley,

November 25, 2007

Dear Hayley,

Your first "real" Thanksgiving has come and gone. We had so much fun giving you all the goodies- turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, sweet potato casserole. Oh, and pumpkin pie! You like pumpkin pie! (Especially with Cool Whip)

Over the last few weeks you have been working on getting more teeth. Right now you have eight that have cut but I think there are at least four more coming very soon.

You are saying a few words, mama, hot, up, hi, and uh-oh. Still no Dada! Now we think you are doing it on purpose. I know you will be speaking in short sentences very soon.

You love to feed yourself with the fork. Every time I see you master a new task I am amazed and I think you are too!

Of course, now you are getting to the terrible two's. You aren't anywhere near two yet but apparently as the pediatrician says, they don't have a catchy phrase for the terrible ones. Yes, you are definitely independent. You don't like us to tell you what you cannot do, and then when you have pushed the limits and you get time out you get really mad. It's funny to watch you play mommy and dada. When you are in trouble with mommy the first thing you do is look for dada. Of course, you are never in trouble with dada so it doesn't really go the other way. :)

We are so excited that Christmas is coming, I just know you will be excited to open presents. Today mommy put up the Christmas tree and you didn't seem to care much about it. You kept smelling it like a flower but unfortunately it is artificial so I think you lost the attraction.

In two weeks we will be taking you on your very first road trip to Canada. It will be interesting, since you can barely sit still in your carseat for ten minutes let alone twenty four hours straight!

You are more of a little girl than a baby now, and although I am excited to see you growing into a girl I am very sad that my baby isn't a tiny baby anymore. I love you Hayley!

Mommy

Tipping around the Holidays

I always think of the holidays as that one time of year that you should definitely recognize the people in your life that do things for you. So a tip here or there doesn't seem out of line. Or does it?

I mean, we tip the girl that makes the four dollar coffee in the morning. Then the seven dollar sandwich guy at lunch has his tip cup out. We pick up the dry cleaning and there's another tip. Pizza for dinner, tip again.

So is it no surprise that I'm all tipped out? I would much rather they raise the prices across the board to accommodate the tips than feel the pressure to tip every single person that does anything in my life every day.

And is it just me or do you feel guilty when you don't tip some people? For example, calling take out food to go and picking it up yourself. Do you tip? I do, generally out of guilt, until I found out that nine out of ten of my coworkers do not tip when they pick the food up. So why do I feel like if I don't tip I will be the only one?

Now that the holidays are upon us I feel a special urge to tip. Lest the people in my life botch the drycleaning, skimp on the sandwich, or give me a shoddy cup of coffee. My husband who is Canadian however, disagrees. They aren't as tip-prone (yet) as we are.

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which coincides with trash day AND recycle day. Personally I feel the need to tip anyone working on a day that I am spending with my family. So that means I taped a twenty dollar bill with a handwritten thank you note inside the trash can. But then I remembered that the recycles guy also comes tomorrow. So I asked my husband if he had another twenty bucks. Here is his response:

What? Tip him? He only comes once every couple of weeks. The way I see it, I'm recycling, he should be leaving ME money every time he comes.

And that was the end of that conversation. So, how do you feel about tips? And not just tips, tips around the holidays?

Wordless Wednesday

Generally I think the photos speak for themselves but I feel a need to clarify on this one. This is what it looks like when men bake... At least, when my husband bakes.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

I'm posting now because I know that the next few days are going to go by much too quickly and I will run out of time. Every year we host what we call "The Feast" at our house. We invite our friends that do not have family in town and would otherwise be stuck eating out or having tv dinner.

Holidays have and always will be a time for friends and family in my book. The more the merrier as far as I am concerned. Holidays are also a time for reflection for me as each year I get sappy thinking of how fortunate I am to still have my friends and family so close to me.

This year I am thankful that although my grandfather has had another stroke and my grandmother has been hospitalized three times they are both still alive.

I am thankful that my husbands parents still have the health to drive and visit us several times a year- a three thousand mile round trip.

I am thankful that my parents live close enough to help out whenever we need them and yet are sensitive enough to know when we also need our space.

I am thankful that we have friends with children who have offered us support and advice as we blindly forge our way through parenthood.

I am thankful that my husband and I still have a loving, fun filled relationship where I realize every single day that he is my soul mate and I never want to be without him.

I am thankful that I have a beautiful child full of energy, laughter, and love.

I am thankful that I have a job in this turbulent mortgage industry, and if I should lose that job I am thankful that I have had it as long as I have. The experiences I have had have been invaluable.

I am thankful that we live in a beautiful home. And that love is what fills our home, not just material possessions.

I am thankful for my life.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wordless Wednesday

Better late than never.

I'm Having an Affair

That gets your attention doesn't it?

Seriously, I feel the need to come clean about it. Writing is a passion of mine. You may have noticed lately that my blog seems to be, well, pulling away. And if you have noticed it then you are very observant.

About ten days ago I found a website where you can write articles. Your articles are rated by your peers and you have the potential to sell those articles to publishers. It hit me right at that moment, I needed to join the website and I needed to write articles. I want to believe that one day I will actually get one published.

Just because I have a new passion does not mean the flames have gone out for my old passion of blogging. Rather I am finding that I need to find ways to rekindle my blogging passion because first and foremost blogging is ME.

I have never had an affair, never even considered one, yet I can imagine how it must feel. Sneaking around, so much energy directed at the new love that it is tough to muster up the energy to keep up appearances with the old one. The first step is admitting it. So now that I have admitted it I hope that I can live my dual life without guilt. And in exchange I will try to reserve my energy first for blogging and second for freelance writing.

Please give me the chance. Don't give up on me.

Wordless Wednesday

Holiday Dilemma

I made myself a promise when I married my husband that we would never skip spending time with his family just because they live in Canada while my family lives fifteen minutes away. Seven years later I am pretty proud to say that we have never once missed a trip. We go to Canada every single summer and every other Christmas.

Last Christmas I desperately wanted to take Hayley "home" as I have affectionately grown to know it but my husband was so close to making the invitation for the annual top sales performer trip to Hawaii that we opted not to go. And good thing we didn't- he just made it by a hair! He would have been very disappointed to come so close to winning that honor. It wasn't a big deal that we didn't go, after all, it wasn't our scheduled year to go anyway.

That means that this year is our scheduled year. So I thought long and hard and figured very early in this year that it would be way too difficult to travel right at Christmas time, let alone too expensive. We blocked off the week of the 10-14 to go to Canada. We were thinking we would fly out late on Friday the 7th and then come back on Saturday the 15th so we would have at least one day to get back to some sort of order before heading back to work and then immediately into the holiday.

As Murphy's law would have it, plane tickets seem to be double what I would normally pay. What I would like to know is, Is there some secret convention going on in Saskatoon that week? No really, it is ludicrous the prices they are charging, and it isn't even the holiday rush week yet!

So as of right now we are tentatively planning to drive. We absolutely love the drive- it is 24 hours straight and we have a routine. We have certain truck stops that we stop at, and we have to buy lottery tickets in every state we drive through. But the catch is, if we get tired and punchy on a 24 hour drive how the heck are we going to keep Hayley sane for that long in a carseat?

Anyone have any suggestions for taking cross country trips with a toddler? Speak now!

One Year Check Up

Hayley had her one year well baby check up today. She is upstairs sleeping off the shots right now. Oh wait, I hear her stirring through the monitor so I'm going to have to make this quick.

She got four shots- Chickenpox, MMR, Hep A, and a flu shot for fun. As if the other three weren't painful enough. I felt so bad for her- she was so happy to be toddling around the exam room, she didn't even mind when the pediatrician came in and checked her over. But then that nurse came back at the end and gave her a shot in each leg and one in each arm.

As we were leaving she gave the nurse that WTF look.

And then she cried off & on the whole way home and even took to the tooty like she hasn't done in quite a while. She fell asleep literally as I was pulling in the front gate so I took a slow drive around the block and then brought her in and put her to bed- clothes, shoes, and all. I was thinking she would be up in 20 minutes and it has been an hour and a half. Now I'm thinking, I guess she will have to sleep in her clothes tonight? But I seriously have this thing about putting babies to sleep all night in their clothes. It's like my thing with needing two side dishes to every meal, I don't understand it, I just obey it.

So at her one year appointment she was twenty pounds three ounces (whew, just made the cutoff for the front facing carseat), was twenty eight and a half inches tall and has a head circumference of seventeen and a half inches. She is middle of the road when it comes to all.

I do however feel the need to brag that in the pediatrician's estimate she is fairly advanced and will be a rather bright child. He likes to see that children have five to ten words mastered (meanings and all) by the time they are about eighteen months. Hayley knows that many now. She says "Uh-oh", "Hot", "Up", "Mama", "Hi", "Bye", and "Eyes". Still no "Dada" but I think that is on purpose. She knows how much we want her to say it. Personally I think she is going to speak in short phrases before she ever says it.

Like all other parents I believe my child is the cutest and smartest. But in this case she really is.