What's the deal?

I, for one, would like to know why my toddler who used to be the perfect sleeper has turned into holy terror whenever it comes time for a nap or bed. Seriously. It used to be that we would turn on the "sleepy" cd, rock together in the chair for the first song (usually about six minutes) and then we would give two hugs and it was nite-nite. (whether she was asleep or not). She would lay down, sometimes watch the fish show that we have still attached to her crib and she would go to sleep. All by herself.

The last two weeks have been, well, hell. To put it mildly. Naps? Fugheddaboutit. Bedtime?Not without a glorious fight. I can't stands no more. Now when we rock for one song we wind up rocking to another,and then another. Sometimes she falls asleep, only to wake with a scream and her back arched the second you attempt to lay her in her bed. Some nights the bedtime fight drags on for the better part of two hours. And she stands in her bed crying "Mommiieee, mommmmieeeeeee". What's a mommy to do?

I mean, I have read about the Ferber method. Go back in at preset intervals, slowly spacing them apart and eventually she will learn to go to sleep on her own. I have also read the success stories (puhleeze people). It's like the people that lose weight dramatically- like forty pounds in a month and you see in the fine print "results not typical". So what I'm saying is, I am at the end of my rope.

Today I was literally crying after battling her for two hours to take a nap. TWO HOURS. And she won. It makes me angry to be the disciplinarian. My husband says to me "well, if she doesn't want to sleep then what are you going to do?". I'll tell you what I am going to do, I am going to parent her. I believe there is a time and a place for a child to be allowed to be a child, but at nineteen months old if I start letting her make all the rules we are really going to be in for it. Of course she doesn't want to nap, she's nineteen months old.

It isn't just the napping thing either. She goes to bed an hour to an hour and a half later every night and wakes on average an hour earlier every morning. She has reduced her night time schedule from a solid eleven hours to maybe nine and a half. Plus trying to skip naps?Mommy don't play that.

If I sound frustrated, well, I am. Not to be a crazy pregnant lady or anything but this just isn't working for me. And of course, my husband really loves to push my buttons. He keeps saying "And YOU wanted another one". I keep telling myself it is a stage, she will grow out of it. But in the mean time I am literally sleep deprived and my fuse is growing shorter by the day. I am hoping that she grows out of it very soon.

Comments

[yvonne]

Jenn, My heart goes out to you honey! We had the same thing with Rowan & kind of solved it by getting her a big girl bed (knowing that we would need her cot for Fallon soon anyway) She settled so much better as she didn't bash her arm/leg everytime she moved around. Also Gloworms and colour changing cubes are excellent for toddlers as they give just enough light for it not be be pitch dark. It's worth a try & all I can say is stick with it. I'm glad we did & like you I do not believe in children making the rules - I'm the adult!!!!
Yvonne x

[Dianne]

Ok - coming from a non-Mommy - so take the assvice for what it is worth. Not much :). Could it be that she isn't tired for the naps? And being forced to take a nap is only making her not tired at night? I mean 11 hours at night, isn't that alot?

I mean I could do it easily :), but not everyone can.

[Lisse]

I suggest changing naptime to quiet time. She can play quietly in her crib/bed/room for whatever your designated nap time is. Set a timer. When she hears the bell, quiet time is over. You might want to start small, so she gets the point of the timer. Then increase the time as she understands the concept.

She is young not to be napping and giving up two hours on one end of the day or another. Either/or makes sense, but both?

[Julianne]

I went through this with my son. I fought one battle, going in to lay him back down silently at progressively longer intervals, and won after 2 and a half hours. There were tears shed and desperate calls made to my Mother. After I won the first battle, though, it got easier. The next one lasted less than 15 minutes. You've got to ready yourself for round one and you'll be fine.

And with the second kid all of the bedtime routine stuff is drastically reduced. We learn our lessons with #1!

[Robin]

I agree with Julianne. We went through it with Hannah too! It is a stage and she will grow out of it. Just keep telling yourself that, she is afraid that she may miss something while she is sleeping. But I too have gone through the tough love thing. Give her some time to calm down and go in lay her back down and walk away. What I even did was not even say anything other than "Its night night!". The hardest part is that battle, but it will get easier the more you stick with it. Just think.... you get to do this all over again in a few years! LOL