I thought I was going to die from the pain

The title to this post is not exaggerated. I seriously wondered if I was going to live through the pain- so let me back up and tell you how it all started.

You may recall me saying that I have been going to a local massage therapist (aka my "boyfriend"). He has really been good for me- I see him about every three weeks for an hour and a half. At any rate he has been able to work out the tension that I carry around and honestly I just feel better overall. I went for a massage the weekend before we went to Palm Desert and felt great.

When we were in Palm Desert we stayed at a beautiful resort/spa. I was scheduled for another massage while we were there and I figured for once I would be able to go for a relaxing massage instead of a strictly tension relieving one. (Yes, there really is a difference for people like me that knot up like a curly telephone cord).

I seriously don't know what happened but I think that guy really messed me up. He was by far the least professional therapist I have ever seen, but that's a different story. I think he was trying some new technique on my neck and every time he did it I flinched because it hurt. My main problem is that I just don't know how to say "hey, cut that out, it hurts". So I kept thinking that he couldn't focus on that area for very long and that it would soon be over. Except he kept coming back to my neck. Which was also the most random thing I have ever seen. He started with my feet. (Strange). Then moved to my neck. Then to my lower back. Then back to my neck. Then my legs. Then my neck. I couldn't really focus because there was no rhythm to what he was doing. And then there was my rebellious neck that was tensing up more and more each time his hand hovered over it.

So anyway, I left the massage a bit perplexed at what really happened. I left feeling like I had a small kink in my neck- like I had slept too hard in one position. You know the feeling? That feeling persisted all week. I chalked it up to coming home and sleeping in my own bed with Sam next to me.

Finally on Sunday I was getting the girls out the door to go to my sisters house and my head just exploded. I cannot even begin to describe the pain. I couldn't move my head to the right at all- although I could move it perfectly to the left. I couldn't look down or up. Stupid me, I still drove the thirty miles out to my sisters house. The problem then was that I could barely make it home a few hours later. I cried half the way home. By this time my head was so on fire that I thought I was going to die.

I got home with the kids and immediately started looking through the medicine cabinet. My husband had some muscle relaxers (so we thought) so I took one. An hour later it had done absolutely nothing so I started searching for something to relieve the pain. I located some left over hydrocodone (Lortab) from my c-section. Seriously, I didn't even take the pain pills after abdominal surgery but I wanted to down the whole bottle for my head-if it gives you any indication how bad it was. I took some and went to lay down.

Except I couldn't lay down. Because I couldn't move my head. Even keeping it straight was painful. An hour later the pain killer had no effect so I took three Ibuprofen. And if you are now shaking your head and calling me a complete idiot I will agree. What I did was extremely stupid and dangerous. I could have wound up in the news as some lady that OD'd. All of my friends would have gone on tv saying that they would never have imagined me doing something like this. So please, if you are reading this, DO NOT SELF MEDICATE. I repeat DO NOT.

And also- DO NOT BORROW OTHER PEOPLE'S MEDICATION. Which was the second thing I had done. See, it turns out those "muscle relaxers" my husband had were not muscle relaxers at all. They were pain killers. So I basically OD'd on pain killers. Lucky for me I did not die. But I wanted to. Because on top of the pain I was then sick to my stomach. Try throwing up when you can't move your head. It isn't pretty.

I was sick for a fully 24 hours. Literally on Monday morning I could not drive myself to work- my husband drove me. And I should not have been there. The problem was that one of my employees was on vacation for the week and I just could not leave her desk unattended. Not that I was much help that day but I did what I had to.

By noon on Monday, and I'm not lying, I was debating going to the ER. Except I didn't want to pay a big fat co-pay. So I went to Quick Care. I can't hack Quick Care. There were people in every single seat- half of them wearing masks or coughing into towels. I didn't want to come out sicker than I went in so I went to another Urgent Care. Except they didn't take my insurance. I was able to get a late afternoon appointment with my primary care physician so I just had to make it through the next few hours.

When I saw her she expressed an immediate concern that it could have been a slow leaking aneurism based upon the headache I had been describing so she ordered a CT Scan with Angio, stat. Except it had to be pre-authorized, so stat was really 48 hours. She did prescribe some (real) muscle relaxers and told me if they worked then we would know it wasn't a bleed in my brain. That was oddly comforting. Then she also told me if the headache spiked again that I was to go to the ER immediately. (If I lived). I am somewhat making light of this but it was all kind of scary.

Tuesday I woke up and thought I was better so I showered and was blow drying my hair when the pain exploded again. Except this time I knew it had to be a muscle because I could feel it snap when I moved my head a certain way. I loaded up on the relaxers and Ibuprofen and drove to work. Thank heaven for "blind spot assist" in the Mazda- since I again could not turn my head even in the slightest.

The long and the short is that I barely made it through Tuesday. I cried numerous times. It hurt worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life- and that included recovering from a boob job and two c-sections. But by Wednesday when I woke up it was manageable and by Friday I still had pain but I was able to manage through it without any relaxers or ibuprofen.

I went back and saw my boyfriend yesterday. He helped a little but he said he didn't want to massage it too much because the muscle is already aggravated. So I am still living with the kink and I am hoping that it will heal soon.

And the lesson I have learned is two-fold. First- if someone is doing something you don't like, just speak up. It is better to deal with the conflict than live with the consequences. And second, do not ever self medicate. Because the other part I did not tell you is that when I did get my prescription for muscle relaxers I read the insert (as I do with all of my own medications) and it stated in caps DO NOT TAKE WITH HYDROCODONE. Someone was watching out for me when I was mixing those meds earlier in the week. If that had been a relaxer and I had then taken the hydrocodone I could have been in big trouble. And then everyone would have said "We don't understand, she was a smart girl, why would she have done this?". And I wouldn't have been able to answer "Because I thought I was going to die from the pain."

Comments

[Mrs M]

Jenn - Please Google 'Bowam therapy'. I honestly think this will sort your neck out in one session. Please hon, try it and DO NOT ever self medicate again - I love you too much girl!

[Kami]

Ok, do I have to come there and take the drugs away from you. You have too many people who love you.... Seriously though, you were definitely being watched. I am so glad you are feeling better! I hope it goes away soon.

Kami

[Crys]

Ouch Jenn! I'm glad that you're doing OK now. Some people just don't massage right, or if you're like me, only certain people are allowed to give me a massage. I read somewhere too that some people do more harm with their massage too, I guess you learned that one. Well, take care and I hope that your aggravated muscle learns to relax soon!