May 25, 2013
These days it seems you are growing so quickly I cannot keep up. You are in the 97th percentile for height in your age group, which means you are but one inch shorter than Hayley (who happens to be in the lowest percentile for her age group). Sometimes because you are so tall I forget that you are still so young.
One thing is for sure, you will always be my baby. You love to snuggle and will climb up in the chair with me just to watch TV. It's those ordinary moments that I file away in my mind to remember later when you decide you are too old to be my snuggle bug. I am certain that day will come much too soon for me. Just know that no matter what, Mama will always be here to snuggle you no matter how old you are.
I haven't written you any letters in a long time, and for that I feel bad. Someday I want you to look back on all of the letters I have written you and I want you to see yourself through my eyes. Someday you may not believe how much you are loved, or how beautiful you are, but the truth is that you are loved more than you will ever know and you are beautiful inside and out.
You are fiercely independent yet have a very sensitive heart. You don't let your guard down very often, which reminds me of someone else you might know. And just from one to another, let me tell you that it is absolutely ok to be strong, independent, and to do things for yourself. But someday there will come a time when you want or need someone to help you, and it is OK to invite them into your heart. It is OK to say you can't do it all by yourself. And it is OK to ask for help. If you are anything like this certain someone I know then you may not want to do any of those things for fear of letting someone down. But the truth is, you will always be strong and independent. Asking for help won't make you any less strong or any less independent. And letting people into your sensitive heart may open you up to be hurt, but that will be ok too. Because you see, until your heart has been broken, until you have truly shown what is inside of you to someone else even you will not know what you are fully capable of.
There may be times in your life that someone will let you down. Just remember, we hold the bar higher for ourselves than we hold it for anyone else. We are harder on ourselves than anyone else would be on us. That's what makes us who we are. We are proud, we are driven, we are strong. We love and are loved. I look at you at four years old and I am so proud of who you are. I am proud to be your Mama. And I know that you are going to "make a difference" in this world.
Just be yourself my sweet girl. Be kind hearted. Be loving. Be forgiving. Be gracious. Be classy. Be true to yourself and to those around you.
I love you more than you will ever know and yes, there are times you have already broken my sensitive heart. There will be more times in the future. But you will forever have my heart and I will forever love you. Even when I am hard on you, or when I expect more of you than you think I should, I do it because I love you. Because I know what you are capable of.
I love you my little snuggle bug!